Randomness

I hear you loud and clear. I have not been blogging recently. I really don’t have a reason other than to say I have been blocked. I have started a few, but I just did not care for them, so I erased them. But my mother says that my fan club at her office is upset I have not written (Do I have blog groupies? Chicka chicka yeah…) so here goes, I can’t promise it will be stellar, but I will give it a go. Since it has been a while here are a few things that I have been pondering recently.

How freaking good are tater tots? Tater tots did not even come in to existence until 1954. Is the lack of tater tots in the world a possible cause of the Great Depression? Umm, I think the ansewer is a pretty clear, yes!1954 is also the first year the Polio vaccine was began being tested in the US… personally I think tater tots are exponentially more significant than the Polio vaccine. A world without tater tots is not one I am intrested in being.

Has there ever been a creation more stalker friendly than Facebook? I love Facebook, but its kind of weird to think of all the creeper - peepers out there.

Also with Facebook blowing up, is there anybody left on MySpace? Oh, and Facebook is officially played out, because my mother is now a member of the club. Time to find the next big thing people.

I have been very depressed lately due to the break up of Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush. If these to crazy kids cant make is there any hope for the rest of us?

Speaking of reality tv losers, it seems we have a new king of the losers and his name Jon Gosling. First off let me tell you, I have seen a total of 3 episodes of this retched show and I don’t blame this dude at all for leaving that hag Kate. I mean Kate seems about a fun as a high colonic with a fire hose, but still this guy seems to being working overtime perfecting the act of douche baggary. Dude its fine to go out and date or two, but maybe limit yourself to one ho a day.

Alright that’s it peeps… peace out and if you missed me, well you may want to get I life. Although it’s tough to blame you, because I am pretty effing awsome.

As Seen On TV

I love to buy stuff I see on TV. I am not taking about QVC type trash, I am talking about commercials and infomercial type stuff, the real good crapola. For example, I have a Snuggy and I freaking love it, when it can be wrestled away from Caeleigh that is.

Recently I got a Topsy Turvey. What is a Topsy Turvey you ask? It is an upside down tomato planter of course! Alas my Topsy Turvey has yet to produce any tomatoy goodness for me! I am serious, not even one little green sucker for me to fry up. It’s the equivalent of a Chia Pet that grows no plant like fur. I am distraught and praying to the gods of TV crapola to save my upside tomato planter.

Please loyal readers of my blog, pray for the Topsy Turvey! Also feel free to make donations you the Save Reavo’s Topsy Turvey fund, checks can me be made payable to me. Don’t let another day go by with out a tomato in my life.

Taint s'post to hurt!

I have a new passion in my life! Cycling. For years my good friend Chris has encouraged me to start riding and I always told him to get bent. So he moved away this year and I finally bought a bike, weird right? Last weekend I completed my longest ride of the summer a 46 mile ride through Hendricks County. It was a beautiful day for a ride and I had a wonderful time except for the excruciating pain to my… well let’s call it my undercarriage, after the ride.

When I purchased the bike it had a racing seat on it. My buddy I bought the bike from asked if I wanted the racing seat or the slightly more padded seat the bike had come with, padding please I replied. I also bought a padded bib overall riding outfit, which I must say is stunning on me to say the least.

So you would think with all this padding I would be well equipped for this ride. Ahhh, not so much. Instead I think the seat might have covered in razor blades the way my taint felt the night of the completed 46 mile ride. My junk was feeling like it had taken a round trip through a meat grinder.

Avid riders will say it gets better. I have just one question… WHEN?

I am back!

Ok I know I have not written since March but cut me some slack folks between work, the new baby, and the workout jag I have been on recently its been tough. But I will try to make this bad boy a little better than normal (yeah that will be tough) to make up for going all MIA recently.

So last Friday Sarah and I decide to load up the fam- damily and head out for a little bite at Rock Star Pizza in the Burg. Why Rock Star? They sponsor Caeleigh’s softball team and we have never been there so we decide lets throw them a few bucks for being active in the community… I know, how cool are we?

Anyway I roll in with my entourage (read Caeleigh, Kasey Jo and Sarah) and get ready to hunker down for some good eats and the chick running the joint looks really familiar to me. It hits me we had Radio and TV together in high school. So I say hi and “yo we had radio and tv together and of course you will remember me I am Sean Reaves.” Dude she had no clue who I was. WTF!

Color me shocked people! Is it possible that I am not the center of everyone universe? In my mind (and apparently mine only) I make such an impact on all people I meet that I sincerely believe they must remember me for life, let alone 17 years. I mean for real, I am the shizz, am I not?

This was quite a blow to my ego at the time. However, I have since decided that this young lady might have suffered a serious brain trauma recently and is suffering from memory loss. That is a much more plausible possibility than the slight chance she could have forgotten the greatness that is Reavo.

Saturday Mornings

Saturday morning cartoons! I used to love rocking my footie PJs and grabbing a bowl of Lucky Charms or some other sugary breakfast cereal and plopping my arse down in front of the TV to watch the greats like Super Friends, Scooby Doo, The Littles, Fat Albert and many more. I weep for my daughter when I think of what she is missing out on. For the record she loves Hannah Montana and for the record I think Hanna Montana sucks big time.

Saturday mornings were a ritual in my life as a rug rat that I took very seriously. I would get up by 6:30am in the morning and then be bummed because real cartoons did not start until 7:00am. So at 6:30am I would watch the New Zoo Revue which was like some low rent Mr. Rogers / Captain Kangaroo rip-off with lame characters like Henrietta Hippo and Freddy the Frog. I remember watching this crapola in disgust counting the minutes until the true animation parade would start.

When 7:00am hit I seem to remember watching the Smurfs. Strange side note, I always thought Smurfette was wicked hot… is that weird? I am guessing that is, but I did she think she was a hottie back in the day. I even loved the breaks in between the cartoons, from NBC’s preachy The More You Know (drugs are bad!) to ABC’s hippy dippy educational Schoolhouse Rocks to CBS’s underrated and my personal favorite In The News which was a two minute news break aimed a kids but not dumbed down.

I liked all different kinds of cartoons from silly things like the Smurfs (although I secretly rooted for Gargamel) to the badassness that was the Super Friends. There was something oddly safe and comforting about Saturday mornings, watching animation with a bowl of cereal in your PJ’s. I think Saturday mornings made me feel older, as it was the one time I had control of the TV. I remember a sadness that would wash over me when American Bandstand would come on, as that signaled the end of cartoons on Saturday mornings.

Kasey Joann Reaves is in the hizzy...

Kasey Joann Reaves arrived Thursday, March 12, 2009 at 8:14pm. She weighed 8lbs; 2 oz. She was 20 inches long. "Kasey" comes from Sarah's mom's maiden name "Kasemeyer" and "Joann" is my mom's middle name.

Sarah and Kasey are doing great!

Where you been Reavo?

I know, I know, I have not blogged in forever. Sorry I have been MIA, but between work and Sarah’s medical dramarama (for details check on Sarah’s blog http://www.reavesfam.blogspot.com/) I have just not had time. So to catch up I wanted to give you a few thoughts and Reavo revelations on some current events.

• Octo-mom – I am the father of at least 3 of those babies.

• Toenail clippings are super gross, but I used to work with a chick that claimed to have kept all of hers in jar.

• I see a lot of commercials for food at Dairy Queen, for the life of me I don’t think I have ever eaten food there. I’ve wolfed down quite a bit of Ice cream, but food? Oh I don’t think so. Not for me.

• I recently got a cycling bike… Reavo in biking shorts… one word SEXY!

• Did we really need a forth judge on American Idol? Was there some earth shattering musical information that we were missing out on? Come on now with the mensa wonder twins Paula and Randy on the case did we not have our share of pointless feedback?

• While we are on the subject of AI let’s just give the title to Danny and be done with it.

• I am calling my shot right now… The Cubs will break my heart again this year.

• Me and my baby mama have chosen a name, but are not releasing it to the public yet. Rest assured it will not disappoint.

• Is there anyone left not on Facebook? If you have not played Tetris on Facebook you are missing out.

• I think Thai food is disgusting and if you would join a club dedicated to eating it you should have your head examined.

• My daughter says “oh snap” all the time… I wonder if she is the next Joy Crabman?

• I am considering creating a wikipedia page dedicated to my greatness.

• I did not have a Big Wheel as a child. Instead I rocked a Green Machine. If you don’t know the difference, I am truly sorry for you for a Green Machine is the shizz.

• The Wire or Lost best show of all time? I can’t choose I love them both; I truly am worried I might die before discovering the secrets of the island. Is that weird?

• If I could only have one food the rest of my life, I think I would choose Fruity Pebbles.

That’s enough for now. I am glad to be back and I am looking forward to sharing my extreme awesomeness with you in the coming weeks.

What No Valerie?

What No Valerie?

I am an admitted addict to TV teen melodrama. From The OC to Dawson’s Creek. I love them all. But my favorite is the Granddaddy of them all… Beverly Hills 90210 (original recipe).

Now, the CW has rolled out 90210 2.0 a follow up to the 90’s classic with new kids and a few of the old favorites sprinkled in to try to draw in the old fans. So far both Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth) and Brenda Walsh (Shannon Doherty) have made return appearances to 90210 Extra Crispy edition. There has been much speculation over what other possible original cast members will be popping up on the new show. Word surfaced last week that Tori Spelling will be dragging her gigantic head and alien eyes out of retirement to reprise her role as Beverly Hills vestal virgin Donna Martin. And to this I say WTF!?!

Who is running this new show? They are missing out on the greatest TV free agent pick all time. Tiffani Amber Thiessen. TAT (that is my little pet name for Tiffani Amber Thiessen) brought the heat to the zip code. Let’s face it Brenda was an average bitch at best. What 90210 needed in season 5 was new life and the true foil Kelly had lacked the first four seasons. Brenda could not hold Kelly’s jock, oops I guess that analogy does not work her. But really if Brenda had any heat at all would she have let Kelly wrestle Dylan and the show away from her?

But when bad girl Valerie Malone (TAT) arrived on the scene, playing against type of her goodie two shoes days on Saved by the Bell it was pure magic. Finally Kelly had an antagonist to bring out her inner bitch. These two hellcats took the show to new heights even as the storylines got utterly ridiculous.

In no certain order the following storylines took place during the Valerie - Kelly era –
• Kelly joins a cult.
• Dylan, Kelly, David, Donna all got substance abuse problems (the writers really love to play the drug card).
• Dylan and Valerie travel is some foreign land to get his money and kidnap his sister.
• Kelly gets caught in a fire at a lesbian house party.
• Andrea cheats on her husband (really? There are two guys in southern California that don’t find her like nails on chalkboard?)
• Kelly gets shot in a drive by (she is a BH gangster?) at LAX, no less.
• Multiple guys actually date Gigantor Martin.
• Valarie hooks up with, Steve, David, Dylan, Noah, Brandon and the LA Dodgers.
• Cranium Maximus gets tossed by down a flight a stairs by Ray Priutt, but somehow does not hit her football helmet sized head.
• Super hot hottie Clair dates douche bag extraordinaire Steve Sanders for multiple seasons.

But why did we buy into this nuttiness? Three letters people… TAT! So I implore you 90210 producers, bring back Valerie Malone. I don’t care if you have to fire some of those anorexic High School Musical rejects to get her. They are obviously not using their new found wealth on food.

Random Things

So I keep getting tagged on Facebook by people filling out these 25 Random Things notes, so I figured what the heck, I will fill mine out too... For all my friends who read my blog, but are not on Facebook (this means you Ted) here you go.

25 Random thought and things about me...Share

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right-hand corner of the page), then click Publish.)

1) Turning 35 was way harder than turning 30… 36 is coming on like a freight train.

2) I have been married 12 years, which means my wife is a saint.

3) I am at least on cordial speaking terms with almost all of my old girlfriends… which is odd because I was kind of a lousy boyfriend in general.

4) I am a hypocrite because I used to make fun of anyone with a blog and now I have one. Reavo.blogspot.com in case you are interested.

5) I have an unhealthy addiction to teen TV melodrama. I love 90210, Dawson’s Creek, Degrassi ect…

6) I love my new job (I guess it’s not new after a year and half), but miss my friends from my old job.

7) I have a gift for telling a good story. I can take the most mundane event and turn it in to a epic tale of intrigue. Just ask my friend Ted who is often at the center of my tales. Let me be clear I do not lie; I enhance the real events to make better fodder for storytelling.

8) I am a horrble speller.

9) My High School girlfriend helped me cheat in advanced economics my senior year or I would not have passed; she went on to become a successful prosecuting attorney.

10) When I was in sixth grade I got everything I wanted for Christmas, then our home went up in flames four days later and we lost everything but the clothes on our backs. So now I have this little piece of me that hopes I don’t get everything I want. I fear something bad will happen if I do.

11) My mother is the strongest person I know to have made it through #10.

12) I love to gamble and I live for trips to Vegas. My #1 item on my bucket list would be to play in the WSOP, at least once.

13) I was a Camp Counselor the summer before my senior year of college (I guess I should say 4th year of college because I was way short of senior credits) and it was by far the best summer of my life.

14) My favorite Superhero is the Green Lantern, who I never felt got his props from the rest of the Justice League, oops I slipped into geek, sorry.

15) I love eggnog and could drink it all year long.

16) I wish I had a full size skiball game in my house.

17) When I was a kid I wanted to be a pro-kickball player. I really thought it would be a pro-sport one day.

18) I like mustard and ketchup mixed together with fries, I learned this trick for Sam Goldsmith in 7th grade.

19) My favorite food is sushi.

20) I am firm in my belief that the Justice League would kick the X-Men arse in a cross over comic, damn there is that geek again.

21) I really enjoy circus peanuts.

22) Generally people love me or hate me, there really is no in between with me.

23) I have written five chapters in a novel that I will never finish, but I do feel I have a better than average book in me.

24) I miss my grandpa Mark all the time and would do almost anything to have a good cup a coffee and shoot the bull with him, I got my storytelling gift from him.

25) I always thought Blossom was hot (in a weird way) and even dated a girl in college that I never really liked that much because she kinda looked like her… I guess

Reavo's Asked and Answered

Alright here we go with the inaugural edition of Asked and Answered. Remember if you would like your question answered you can e-mail me at reavo73@yahoo.com.

What's with The Wire spoilers?! – Sarah Tizzel

I assume that you are referring to me writing about Stringer Bell's death in the previous blog post. I hardly think you can call giving a fact about a show that has been off the air for over a year a spoiler. By the way Ms Tizzel if you have not seen the Sixth Sense… Bruce Willis is dead.

Do you think Wes is teething already? – Brooke Arnold

Well I am no doctor, but I spend all kinds of time on WebMD diagnosing my own illnesses (hypochondria anyone?). So using my mad WebMD skills I can tell you that it is my medical opinion that young Wes is indeed teething. You are in for some sleepless nights, sucks to be you.

What was it like to meet Chris Hansen? –Me (Hmmm who could this be?)

Well that question brings me to an interesting tale. I have a very good, yet disturbed friend. To protect his identity we will call him Theodore Softball, he is known for his wild behavior at parties and defiling the sanctity of a man’s kitchen. Anyhow Ole Theodore gave me a call a few years back and said he needed a ride as he had met a really cool chick online… well one thing lead to another and I had to testify in court against Theodore and that is how I met Chris Hanson who thanked for my help in the prosecution of this disturbed individual. I am happy to say after intensive therapy and relocation a differing state Theodore is doing much better.

That is it for this week’s edition of Reavo’s Asked and Answer.

Asked and Answered

I am starting a new weekly deal where you can e-mail me a question and I will answer it. You can ask anything, no holds barred. You want to know why I am so dope? Ask. You want to know the secret to being a fashion icon, like me? Ask. Want to know why Stringer Bell got killed on the Wire? Ask. Want to know how to make the perfect Whiskey Sour? Ask.

Questions can me e-mailed to reavo73@yahoo.com and put Asked/Answered in the subject line. You can also hit me on my Facebook with your questions if that is easier.

Chick Beer

Back in my fraternity days we debated a great many questions that faced society. Topics as varied as Nature vs Nurture, The Fall of the Roman Empire and Pythagorean Theorem were discussed with great zeal on a daily basis by the most impressive minds to ever step foot on the Indiana State campus. The one topic that was sure to cause the most heated debate was Chick Beer.

What is Chick Beer you ask? Well we were forbidden to have kegs at our parties so each member had to bring a case of beer for themselves and a case of beer for the ladies or Chicks (I know, how crass) before entry was allowed. Now where the debate starts is what constitutes a suitable Chick Beer? I enjoy a good Old Milwaukee as much as the next guy, but your average college coed seemed to prefer a lager with a little less after burn. So there needed to be a standard set for what is the appropriate bottom end for Chick Beer.

Our general rule of thumb was Busch Light or better. But there would always be a wiseguy (Rob Todd-- I am talking about you brother) trying reason that Rainier Draft (How do you call a canned beer draft?) was actually better than Busch Light?

These debates would go on endlessly. Was PBR better or worse than Busch Light? What about Keystone or Icehouse? To think of the hours wasted on this topic and yet never was an answer reached. One of the great tragedies is never having come up with a comprehensive charting of all beers…kind of like a “Terror Threat Level “ for beers. Yet again another idea for greatness missed.

Pops

So I am back baby! I am refreshed from a nice break and ready to rock out another kickin’ blog for my adoring public.

The subject of the day… my Pop.

Pop is not your average Ward Clever, Mike Brady type of father. Dude never helped me with my homework and seldom dropped knowledge on me that would have been helpful in class. This is odd considering the man has been a teacher for 30 years. But my Dad is not a Mr. Holland’s Opus type of teacher, he is more of a “hey this is a good gig and I get three months off in the summer type of teacher.”

But this not to say I did not learn anything from my old man, actually quite the opposite. He taught me all the most important lessons. He taught me life lessons that I use to this day. Pops schooled me on the art of point spread in football betting and staying away from the hook (which means a point spread with a ½ point attached to it… example a team needs to win by 7 ½ ). He educated me in the world of hangover recovery, showing me that a cold beer and greasy breakfast topped in A1 sauce is a tasty treat to cure a really bad hanger. Pops showed me his way with the ladies and whatever weak arse game I did run in college was all learned from him.

Hell he gave me my first Old Style!

Dude took me to at least 10 Cubs games every summer (CF bleachers baby) and got Colts season tickets so we could hang when I moved to Indy. We spent summers at Lake Michigan and Pine Lake, Saturdays in the fall watching college football at St. Joe’s Polish Men’s club (no Dad is not Polish. When I asked him why he was a member he said it’s cheap beer and you can cash checks there. So apparently before ATM and direct deposit you had to belong to a club to get money?)

No he is not perfect. He is not the traditional TV father, but he is mine and I love him.